“I came out when i was 13 and let me tell you, I came out flaming. I never gave a damn what anyone thought of me. When I told my Mom I wanted to cut off my long hair, she humored me. She thought it was just a phase. That’s what people back then used to hope. But i was always straight up with my family and everyone else. This is who I am, take it or leave it buddy.

But don’t think that means I haven’t experienced any type of sexual harassment. Oh I had plenty of men touch me and grab me, “Oh you’ve just never been with a real man before”. All that crap. Ain’t no woman alive who’s been spared that one.”

“My sister was always very daring and rebellious so she married for love. I was never like that. I always did what was best for the family…so I let my parents arrange my marriage.

 I only met him once before our wedding so it was hard. Especially since we were both really different. He was so active and loud, opposite from me. But we worked through it and both of us had to change in a lot of ways. We grew to love each other.

I look back and I wish I had been more independent. Not let everyone always choose for me. But I was never confident, I was always scared to do anything. And i’m still that way now. I have no faith in me. But anyway, it’s too late for me now.”

“When I came to the U.S. I worked at a factory. It was the only job I could find that didn’t need me to speak English. After a year, my son started to do my taxes and that’s how we figured out that my boss was stealing my money. When I confronted him, he just said “Okay i’ll pay you next time”. But he did it again the next year. I pay my taxes, i’m not here illegally, this shouldn’t be happening. So I called the IRS on him.

At one point I was working three jobs. I only came home to sleep for 3 hours. So my daughter had to be a Mother to my other kids. She once said to me, “You were always there for the others but not for me.” It broke my heart. I didn’t do it on purpose, I just wanted to give them the best I can. 

Now they’re all adults and i’m so proud of who they’ve become. Recently we’ve started going on family trips and it really means a lot to me to be able to spend time with them. Kind of like getting back lost time.”

*Picture chosen by speaker*

“I was talking to my husband about this Weinstein situation and mentioned that men have no idea what women deal with on a daily basis. You can’t even walk down the street without some man cat-calling you or following you and sometimes even trying to touch you. Its disgusting!

I remember this happening to me from a very young age, about twelve or thirteen. I was basically a little girl and remember grown men saying disrespectful and inappropriate things and whistling/hissing at me. I remember being grossed out and even sometimes arguing with these men that could practically be my fathers. I would hate to walk outside sometimes and remember that I would try to wear long shorts and shirts to cover up cause I would hate that attention. Mind you I never dressed, especially at that age, in revealing clothing which still wouldn’t justify this type of behavior. 

I think back and know that this had an impact in my life. I have sometimes have chosen to wear an outfit over another if I have to walk alone, and know it has to do with this unwanted behavior from men. I have also crossed the street if I noticed a group of men to avoid anything. 

I also know that this has made me stronger. When men are inappropriate I have defended myself. I speak out against anything I feel is not right, especially as a woman. I have a daughter and know there is no way to shield her from this, which is scary. I do know that just like her mommy, she will be strong and outspoken and will know to only expect respect from men and women. “ 

“When I was younger I was always very outspoken about what I wanted, you know? I would fight everyone who tried to restrict me.

My brother was very domineering. He wanted me to wear Indian dresses but I liked the western style more so I refused. But then he started going on food strikes and I had to give in. He’s my brother, I couldn’t let him starve.

I’m the only one in my family who married for love. My parents were very angry about it but I didn’t budge. I told them that if i didn’t marry him, I would stay home and never marry anyone. 

But now i’m a different person, i’ve changed so much. I’m always apologizing to everyone even if I did nothing wrong. I given in to my husband and my family all the time. I don’t know why I changed. Maybe it’s because i’m in my 40s now and i’ve got so much responsibilities.”

“In the 1960s something, a journey began for my family. My grandmother, her husband, and their four kids all emigrated from Ecuador to the US. They settled in NY because they had family here, a support system to help out if things got rough.When I was younger, my grandma would always talk about Lee Avenue. It was where my family first lived when they came here. I don’t remember how long they lived there. But I was always proud that their second home in this country was one that they owned themselves. Especially because, it was my grandma who put down most of the money to buy the building. When she first told me that I was shocked because she came to this country with nothing and now I get to look back on the house and life she built for her family.

My mom used to tell me that when she was growing up on the weekends she would help her dad fix the building. The building I now live in is one that is filled with the hardships and memories of my ancestors. I feel like its a generational thing now, when my mom was a child she would help fix the building with her father. And when I was a child, I helped fix the building with her.

Clearly things are changing now, the neighborhood is becoming gentrified and rents are growing higher. When I was younger, I used to dream about one day owning the building and taking care of it with my children. Even if that doesn’t happen I won’t ever forget about 842 and all the memories and hardships my family has had here.”

“Before architectural school I thought that everyone was welcomed to design and create beautiful buildings or houses or landscapes. However, it soon became clear that females have a tough job if we want to be recognized in this field.

There was a time when I felt discouraged at a job I had. Most of the people there were men and they were not so happy that I was a woman. I felt that I was not able to do my job because they were always looking down on me. At some point I was let go for that same reason, I felt very disappointed that this happened but at the same time relieved that I didn’t have to deal with that kind of people again. 

Now I look back and think that things happen for a reason. I have a better job and people appreciate what I do and most importantly they don’t look down on me. There are many things that I have learned through the years but the one that stands out the more is not to give up and follow your dreams. So to all women out there I say don’t give up, follow your dreams and don’t let anybody stop you from doing it.”

“One day i just said “That’s it, i’ve had enough”. I went to bed already dressed, my money and my phone on me. My husband told me to change my clothes but I said "No, I don’t know what you’re going to do to me”. We had a big fight that night, hands were thrown. My daughter woke up and saw it. I never went back after that.

It was really hard doing it on my own. I starved for months  just to give my daughter whatever she needed. I ended up getting really sick because of it. But I just wanted her to be good, not to miss out on anything.

She’s an honor student now. Loves to paint and wants to be an artist, oh she’s so good. It was all worth it. I don’t regret a thing.”

“When I was younger I used to be in massive denial about being gay. If I caught myself staring at a girl I would just think, “there’s nothing wrong with that. She has a butt, I have a butt. I’m just looking”. Mind you, no one could hear my thoughts. But I had to justify it to myself.

But when I got to college I met friends who were gay or who didn’t see anything wrong with being gay so i felt more comfortable embracing who I was. i felt like no one was going to judge me or look at me as being abnormal. 

But I still have never spoken about it with my Mom. I’m not sure what she knows but it’s one of those things that’s better left unsaid.”

“I’ve been harassed at a job before by my boss. Probably thinking that because i’m a single mother that i’m an easy target. It’s very difficult because you don’t want to lose your job but at the same time they’re making you feel uncomfortable. So you try to say something but in a way that he gets the message but at the same time it doesn’t make him mad enough to let you go.

But at times that doesn’t work because it’s still not you telling him clearly “You’ve got to stop this”, you know? So he figures, well she needs the job so she’s just playing hard to get. So you’ve just got to do what you’ve got to do. Say it directly and then leave and that’s what I did. It wasn’t going to stop and I was too uncomfortable. I couldn’t work at a place where I have to be harassed all the time.”